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- A Quick Guide to Self-Doubt: Understand & Overcome It
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Life is about overcoming self-doubt. But you don't grow if you don't question yourself.
The Breakdown
Hey fam!
DEEP DIVE
Introduction
We all struggle with this at some point in our lives. Self-doubt: the single biggest dream-killer. Everyone experiences self-doubt, it’s that nagging voice in our brain that questions our abilities and worth. Self-doubt is often defined as uncertainty about the truth of anything, especially thoughts, beliefs, emotions or any "truth" we hold.
To go a step further, feelings of self-doubt often involve questioning our self-competence. Sometimes, we may expect poor performance and at other times, excellent performance. This creates uncertainty about our ability to achieve desired outcomes.
Given how much self-doubt can affect our lives, it’s important to understand how we can tame those voices. I think there will always be some self-doubt in our heads (as our brains consciously avoid ‘threats’ to our survival), yet learning to control it will give us more confidence to lean into our ambitions and goals. Before we start taming self-doubt, we need to recognise the common triggers and situations that lead to self-doubt.
Understanding Self-Doubt
Self-doubt often stems from past experiences, a fear of failure, or through comparing ourselves to others. It manifests in various psychological and emotional ways, leading to hesitation, procrastination, and missed opportunities.
Through my experience, the failures you experience in your childhood/teenage years have a massive impact on your psyche. These failures can unconsciously form parts of your adult personality.
For example, if you were bullied at school, it may stop you from speaking up in meetings or other gatherings because you fear being ridiculed.
The effects of self-doubt are far-reaching. It can impact everything from your career to your relationships. Having lingering self-doubt in your adulthood can also create imposter syndrome (I will write a future post on this topic) and most damaging of all, negative self-talk. When negative self-talk creeps in, it’s difficult to see the world as anything but misery, pain and disappointing.
But just because self-doubt has a massive impact on our lives, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn how to tame it. Let’s start by addressing the first step: self-awareness.
Identifying Self-Doubt Patterns
It can be tempting to rush straight into forcing yourself to ‘think positively’. However, you’ll find that you struggle and revert back to negative thoughts again (which hit back even stronger).
To address self-doubt, identify your own patterns. I’ve found that writing down your answers to certain questions helps uncover your underlying beliefs about yourself. Questions like ‘how would I describe myself in 10 words or fewer?’ or ‘what’s a trait I admire in someone else I’d love to have?’ can help you assess your current mindset.
‘Brain-dumping’ (writing down anything that comes to mind without hesitating) is another great way to release your thoughts and assess your mindstate.
By acknowledging these patterns, you can start to challenge your self-doubt thoughts and behaviours. Here are some other strategies that are known to help combat self-doubt.
Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt
Positive Self-Talk
Often helped by practicing affirmations to reinforce self-belief. Personally, I find that writing down a list of negative beliefs I have about myself and then writing why that isn’t true goes a long way to helping me think positively. Being self-aware about when you fall into negative self-talk can help you stop those thoughts when you least want it.
If you make a mistake in a match, notice the negative thought you may have and let it fade away. You can do this by saying the ‘positive opposite’ to yourself: the opposite of that statement which is more positive.
So, ‘I suck at shooting’ turns into ‘focus on getting ready for the next shot that comes my way’.
Realistic Goal-Setting
I wish I'd done this strategy earlier. Set realistic and achievable goals to build a track record of success. SMART Goals are the best way to start framing your goals. A goal that’s both ambitious but realistic is the sweet-spot for good goals. If you’ve never created a SMART Goal, you’ll realise that after you’ve created one that means a lot to you, your attention turns to how to achieve that goal. That is where real progress can start to be made.
From there, you can go a step further and create small milestones to hit on the way to that goal (I will break this down in a future post). Once you do that, it’s a lot easier to celebrate small wins to maintain your motivation and progress.
Seek Feedback and Constructive Criticism
Without the help of others in your personal journey, it’s very difficult to achieve true growth. Having the right people around can uplift you and make you feel better. They can also help point out your weaknesses and give you constructive criticism to improve. It can be difficult to ask for feedback but the right people will give you the insight you need to improve.
Start Building a Growth Mindset
Building a growth mindset will help to grow (no pun intended) the belief that skills can be developed through dedication and hard work. Take on challenges, learn from criticism, and keep going when faced with setbacks.
I wrote more about this topic here → The Best Mindset in Life (beehiiv.com) so you can start building a growth mindset today.
Ultimately, adopting a growth mindset will empower you to move beyond self-doubt and achieve your potential.
Conclusion
Overcoming self-doubt is crucial for leading a fulfilling life. By understanding its roots and recognising our patterns, we can challenge and tame these negative thoughts.
Implementing strategies like positive self-talk, realistic goal-setting, seeking feedback, and building a growth mindset can boost our confidence and resilience. I encourage you to try these strategies and see how they impact your journey. Remember, progress takes time and effort, but each step forward is a victory.
Feel free to share your experiences and progress with overcoming self-doubt. Your story could inspire and help others on their path to self-confidence.
This newsletter aims to guide and inspire you on your journey to overcoming self-doubt. Remember, the belief in oneself is the cornerstone of any great achievement. Start building that belief today.
TIPS & TRICKS
TAKE ACTION TODAY
Write Out Your Feelings (Self-Awareness)
Action: Identify any limiting beliefs holding you back and write them down on paper.
Purpose: Acknowledge and confront your self-doubt.
Clean Slate Approach
Action: Put a line through your limiting beliefs and approach your day with a clean slate.
Purpose: Symbolically release negative thoughts and start fresh.
Practice Positive Affirmations
Action: Write down three positive affirmations that counteract your limiting beliefs. Repeat them daily.
Purpose: Reinforce a positive mindset and build confidence.
THIS WEEK’S RECOMMENDATION
I think TED Talks are a fantastic way to get introduced to a topic. This talk from a former criminal-turned-doctor will help you start to realise the power of breaking away from self-doubt.